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Why am I in my head and no one else's? Why am I this one unit of consciousness?
We live in a hyper-individualist world, one that teaches us to value our individual perspectives above all else. In light of this, your impulse to expand beyond your own mind is actually quite wise.
The truth is that no person is actually one single unit of consciousness. Each of us is part of vast, complex, tangled webs, and we all contain bits and pieces of everything that's ever happened to us—and in turn, everything that's ever happened since the beginning of time.
All matter originally came from the same burst of light that shot the cosmos into existence, and even now so many billions of years after that fact, many of us feel the sense that we are connected to something much greater than ourselves. We wonder why we're so alone in our minds, because we sense that there's something so much more beyond ourselves.
Many of us even spend our lives seeking this kind of connection, attempting to reunify with some kind of fundamental source through religion or love or other mechanisms. We spend our lives longing for the kind of connection we shared with our mothers before birth (which, in turn, resembles the connection we shared with the cosmos before creation).
As you know, somewhere along the way, humans evolved. We developed singular, isolated consciousnesses, and we grew cold and calculating. The solitary, self-reflective mind is a blessing and a curse, for it allows us to sense our own aloneness—but it also allows us to intuit and pursue our connection to something much, much greater than ourselves.
In a world with limited resources, where natural selection ruled the game, we needed to defend ourselves. But simple survival isn't enough for most of us, as you probably know; you long for connection, meaning, and sometimes, a return to that primordial night where you felt completely unified with the world.
Maybe you feel that connection in brief flashes sometimes, in the arms of another or in the ocean or listening to a particularly moving song, but it isn't enough. There's still that echoing question: Why? Why can't I get in touch with the primordial source? Why did it leave me alone in my head?
The next time you're overwhelmed by the feeling of being trapped in your own consciousness, unable to connect to others, try to ask yourself: Who is asking this question? The best thing you can do to address the strangeness of being an isolated unit of consciousness is practice empathy, both for yourself and others. Realize that you are living the same experience (give or take the details) as every other human; and, ultimately, realize that the individual self you sense is an illusion, and the only real thing is the voice in your head asking the question, the voice of the oversoul, the voice that's always calling you towards others, towards the sky, towards home.
How do I know what's a normal internal monologue and what's "hearing voices"?
Most of the voices we hear in our minds (whether they're actual hallucinations or simply loud thoughts) are expressing some deep desire for recognition. The question is: How much power do they have over you? And how much power are you going to give them?
Remember, your thoughts contain very little actual power outside of the meaning you choose to assign them. You should treat your thoughts like old friends, or at least like airplanes that can pass through your mind and float away.
If you are literally hearing voices, it's worth asking yourself if you should be seeing a doctor. If you've already seen a doctor, then it's perhaps worth asking the voices if there's something they want you to know. Perhaps they contain messages from other realms. Most likely, like all of us, they just want to say their piece and go back to bed.
Sometimes I watch Tomi Lahren's videos just to Feel Something. Am I ok?
Life presents different challenges for everyone. The Buddha tells us that life is suffering, but they also propose that realizing this—accepting that life is suffering—is the very first step on the path to enlightenment.
Your impulse to watch Tomi Lahren videos might be an indication that you're very close to embarking on a spiritual quest. You are exploring the far reaches of human hypocrisy, seeking emotional catharsis through defilement. You're suffering, yes, but that might mean you're very close to pushing towards the other side.
There's no reason to blame yourself or to feel enmeshed in guilt for your Tomi Lahren habit. We all make mistakes and engage different coping mechanisms, and in the long run, Tomi Lahren videos are less physically dangerous than substance abuse, for example, so that's a plus.
If we surround ourselves only with people who agree with us—if we refuse to entertain dangerous ideas, if we refuse to even hear the other side—we'll never reach beyond our own biases, and we'll never be able to firmly stand in our own truths. But if you're willing to witness evil and pass through it instead of running from it, well, you have the beginning of a transformation on your hands.
Your impulse to Feel Something is also worth a deeper look. What exactly are you trying to Feel? Are you seeking distraction from your true emotions? Are you looking to escape your true self? At Trueself, we believe that knowing one's true self is the most important journey one can embark on in this life. The next time you find yourself clicking on Tomi Lahren video, ask yourself: What do my body and spirit need? How can I give myself the feeling—most likely, love, but possibly arousal, rage, or security—that I think this video will provide for me?
Attempt to practice radical empathy—whether that means offering prayers or sending distance reiki or talking to a trusted friend, you might just heal yourself by offering healing energies to the confused people in this world.
That doesn't mean you have to grant racist ideas any sort of validity, but it does mean that you can try to respond in a way that adds wavelengths to the universe and deepens conversations rather than shutting them down.
Understand that the world has made Tomi Lahren and her ilk bitter and blind. Remember that she's just like you, a child of the universe, but she has chosen to use her voice to sow division. Remember that you can do the opposite. Remember: You can allow Tomi Lahren to shape your life... or you can shape your perception of Tomi Lahren.