Get Ready To Run Into Your Ex, The World Just Got Smaller

Honey I Shrunk The Kids | Disney

While the world may blame inflation for egregious price increases across the nation, I blame shrinkflation for running into all my old flames.

Shrinkflation – the shy, younger sister of inflation – is when manufacturers reduce a product’s size while retaining its retail price. In a recent NPR article, they found many major corporations guilty of implementing flagrant shrinkflation.

Kleenex went from 65 tissues to 60 in each box. Cottonelle toilet paper decreased from 340 sheets per roll to 312. Folgers reduced 51 oz containers to 43.5 oz. And Party-Size Fritos moved from 18 oz bags to 15.5 oz. OUTRAGEOUS.

This is America. The land of excess. The land of obesity – Bezos country.

What kind of lawless land is this? Where runny noses run rampant, the corporate worker is uncaffeinated, butts get a wimpy wipe, and party size is now just a party of one?

Next, they’ll tell us our Big Gulp is actually a Small Chug.

And now we have to pay for a 32oz Gatorade only to receive a 28oz bottle that’s tapered in the middle to help with ‘holding’?!? I can hold my own, thank you – I just need my thirst quenched. And not 87.5% quenched. 100%. Quenched.

But it doesn’t just end there. In a final act of betrayal, Domino’s reduced its 10-piece chicken wings to 8… And they still charge you… for 10…

If you think I’m going to stand for rising prices and smaller package sizes, I’m not. In fact, cut the price in half and double the volume.

Stay vigilant out there. Rising prices and roaming exes are among us.