Lose Your Virginity Snafu-Free

Things That Your Mother Wouldn't talk about

So you're ready to lose your V card. Since I'm not your mother, congratulations! Perhaps you've waited for that special someone, to be married, or until someone halfway decent was willing to deflower you. Whatever your reasoning for deciding it's time to go "all the way," make sure your first time doesn't become a lifelong regret, an utter embarrassment, or a total let down. These 7 items are a must-read if you're going to do the deed!


Prep Your Body

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If you're ready to make your sexual debut, you're going to want to be sure you're fresh, fine, and fearless. Take a nice hot bath or shower, shave where you must, get your hair looking sexy, cut your toenails, and whatever else you need to do to have a bedroom-ready bod. This pampering is not only so you'll be desirable to your partner, but so you'll feel confident and free to enjoy the experience to come. Being self-conscious is not going to make this night any easier.



If Not in Love, At Least Be In Serious "Like"

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Your "cherry" will only be available for gifting once. Make sure whoever receives it is worthy of its sweetness. While many believe being in love is important for the virginity losing episode - that choice is yours - but for heaven's sake, make sure you like the person… a lot. This moment will be one you'll look back on over the years and you don't want to remember your partner as a total dweeb.



Remain Sober

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While a few shots of tequila may loosen you up for what's bound to be a nerve-wracking night, alcohol may not be the best "lubrication" for this first night you perform the horizontal mambo. You want a clear mind and full control over the situation. If you must sip before you dip, perhaps have a romantic glass of wine with your partner to relax you both and set the mood. Bottoms up (to the wine, you perv)!


Do It Someplace Normal


Once you become more experienced and frisky, feel free to do it in a closet, a park bench, or in your boss' office, but for this first encounter, you will fare best by getting it on somewhere tame, like one of your bedrooms or a hotel room. This first time will be exciting enough without worrying about being impaled by a staple remover or getting your underwear stuck to a rusty nail.


Use Protection

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This should go without saying, but use a condom (plus other protection if you're so inclined)! Don't be one of those morons who says, "But I only did it once," and wind up on Teen Mom. Worrying about STDs and pregnancy is not an aphrodisiac and it's - to put it bluntly - plain stupid to take any risks. Bag that sausage before you bring it inside.



Prepare for Disappointment

Before this notable night, you've likely seen far too many romance movies (or adult videos) and have high expectations for intercourse. It may be awkward, painful, too slow, too fast, or just ho-hum. Give yourself (and your partner) a break. Like anything else, it will take practice to learn what you like, how to position yourself, and how to achieve the "Big O." Surely, you won't mind the work you'll need to put in to achieve sexual success!


Spend the Night!

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This is your first time, so make it an all-nighter. "Ghosting" in the wee hours of the morning and taking that dreaded "walk of shame" home is no way to celebrate your knocking boots kickoff party. Snuggle all night in the arms of your partner and wake up together. Heck, make breakfast! You must be hungry. After some eggs and juice, you may be ready for your second round!

Now that you're prepped to pounce, take these tips to the bedroom with you. Losing your virginity should not make you lose your mind. You can do it! (Literally).

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