While the noise and bluster of Hellection Season continues, Turkey-Lurkey Time has arrived, folks.
This year will be tricky—no "to Grandmother's house we go," no crew of relatives in turkey-induced comas sacked out on the sofa binge-watching The Queen's Gambit, no furious political arguments followed by silent sulking.
Even if we're not cooking for 12, food is central to any holiday celebration. And Thanksgiving is no exception. Turkey wins hands-down, but what about those vitally important side dishes?
Thanks to the 10 Plagues of 2020, we're tossing aside the old Thanksgiving classics and going for some altogether different kinda sides—radical sides—state by state.
We risked life and limb among urban outliers and out-there-in-the-hinterlands and came up with an entirely unscientific survey of all 50 states (and lonely DC):
ALABAMA: Dressing, M'Dear
ALASKA: Hashbrown Casserole 'Cause Our Taters Are Frozen
TEXAS: Slow-Cooked Longing for the Good Ol' Bush Days
UTAH: Latter-Day Crescent Rolls Over Salted Wounds
VERMONT: Stuffing Until We're Stuffed
VIRGINIA: Dixie Mac-N-Cheese Holdout
WASHINGTON: We-Put-It-to-Bed Potatoes
WEST VIRGINIA: Rollover Rolls-Rolls-Rolls
WISCONSIN: Mashed Potatoes with Hot Buttered Indignation
WYOMING: Brown Gravy over Smashed Bravado Biscuits
The choice of a side dish is like the nation itself. Though it varies from state to state, we're all forced to celebrate the same damn holiday. Now get into that kitchen and rattle 'em pots-n-pans.
Amanda Boyden is an American author and recipient of Nerve.com's Henry Miller Award for Best Literary Sex Scene in Pretty Little Dirty. Her latest work, I Got the Dog: A Memoir of Rising is available for purchase here or on Amazon. She lives in New Orleans with her rescue Chihuahua, Fry.