"The Pattern" Astrology App: What I Learned, Liked, and Didn't Care For

One day, Channing Tatum took to social media to let the world know about The Pattern. It's an app that apparently knows more about him than he (or his therapist) knows about himself. Like most astrology apps, it requires you to provide personal information: your date of birth, the specific time of your birth, and where exactly you entered this terrifying and glorious world. After verifying that it's not a Russian app, I entered my information and was presented with a frankly depressing profile. But it seems that isn't the case for everyone.

An engaging part of this app is that you can add your friends to compare profiles. Everyone's profile indicates multiple patterns; for instance, everyone receives sections for "work and public life," "destiny," and "ideal relationship." However, the rest of the patterns are specifically chosen based on your information. My unique patterns included "restless or fearful" and "responsible and over-giving." Meanwhile, my "ideal relationship" pattern indicated that I prioritize someone who prioritizes me. All in all, The Pattern app indicated I'm apparently an insecure person when it comes to personal connections.

The Pattern

While that didn't make me very inclined to engage more with the app, reading the commonalities between myself and my friends genuinely kept me invested. By clicking on your friends' profiles, you'll receive a message that will specify the special connections or attributes you both share. For example, when I click on my friend Kelsey's profile, the app tells me, "Kelsey is pushing you to grow up. At times she's confrontational, but helpful, inspiring you to be the best you can be." After about 10 seconds, the message fades away to conclude what we "are somewhat similar, but mostly different."

Besides personal patterns, your profile highlights "your timing." In that section, you can look up a date to see what major life changes will likely occur during that period, along with the "phase" you might be going through and how long that cycle will last. For example, currently, my relationships are in a period of "expansion" that's predicted to last for another 38 days. When you click on a cycle, it gives an in-depth description. According to my profile, I currently have "multiple opportunities to meet long-term collaborators." The section also predicts future cycles. Apparently, I will be going through a "radical change" from May to March of 2021 (after I graduate! Eep!).

The bottom bar allows you to easily navigate between your patterns, your friends' patterns, romantic connections, and "the world's patterns." In the latter, the app expands on current patterns that humanity as a whole is experiencing. So, for the next three months, we're all supposed to "surrender," "let go of our egos," and determine "what is meaningful to you?"

Honestly, I do not care much about the world pattern and timing sections, but the personal profiles are fascinating. They create the opportunity to reflect on your everyday behavioral and even emotional patterns that you may typically ignore.

In my opinion, the profiles are insanely in-depth. While mine didn't necessarily make me feel great, I can't say it wasn't accurate. And frankly, even if this app is more bullsh*t than real astrological science, it's still a fun way to indulge in your more narcissistic tendencies. It can also be a helpful tool to dissect your everyday, less-than-healthy habits that may go unnoticed otherwise. There's even a journal on the app that will highlight sections that are important to you, like reminders of your goals and what you need to work on (like, for instance, being an emotionally insecure person, but enough about me)!

While I won't be using the app all the time, I will be forcing all my friends to download it, because it's more telling than Google and makes it easy to rampantly speculate about their every personality trait and compare it to my own. Even if it is bulls*it, it's fun.

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