By all appearances, I was doing everything right. I meal prepped., avoided processed foods, refused birthday cake — even on my birthday. I followed all the wellness influencers. I thought I was the picture of health — when in reality I was constantly miserable, anxious, and wiped out.
I was talking about it with my pal Kimba and she urged me to read into orthorexia — an obsession with “clean” or “pure” eating that can be unhealthy — and something clicked. I suspected that this just may be my trouble. I devoured features recently published in BuzzFeed and HuffPost. And there it was in black & white — I’d finally identified the issue I’ve been struggling with for years. I was so self-denying that I’d backed into a cul de sac — a joyless version of wellness that left no room for being human.
If you’ve never heard of orthorexia, you’re not alone. It’s not yet officially listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), but organizations like the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) are urging people to take it seriously.
Dietitians, therapists, and researchers have sounded the alarm. And as someone who’s been orthorexic — and actively trying not to relapse — it’s a real thing. Orthorexia can take over your life in the guise of health.
Orthorexia isn’t about aspiring to lose weight or fit into skinny jeans — though it can overlap with anorexia or other eating disorders. It’s about chasing the idea of health so intensely that food becomes a source of fear, guilt, and social isolation. Studies, like those highlighted by Verywell Mind, suggest this obsession with perfect eating is growing, especially with the rise of social media wellness culture.
And social media makes it so much more devastating.
🚩Warning Sign 1: You Constantly Think About Food
You know when you’re planning meals days in advance, obsessing over whether that oat milk is really unsweetened, or freaking because your local bistro doesn’t have grass-fed beef? That’s not healthy. That’s anxiety wearing a wellness badge.
I used to spend hours scrolling recipes and reading labels, convinced that one wrong choice would undo all my good work. I didn’t realize how much of my mental energy was being siphoned off by food — and not even delicious food, just approved food.
🚩Warning Sign 2: You Cut Out Entire Food Groups For No Medical Reason
Gluten. Dairy. Sugar. Soy. Grains. Nightshades. If you’ve eliminated one or more of these based on something you saw on Instagram, we need to talk. Orthorexia often starts with the intention to eat better, but turns into a boatload of restrictive rules.
Unless you’ve a diagnosed allergy or condition — like celiac — you probably don’t need to cut all this stuff out. But orthorexia thrives on rules. I used to feel strong and pure for resisting so many tempting meals. What I didn’t realize is that I was shrinking my world — and my nutritional intake — out of fear.
🚩Warning Sign 3: Food Guilt Runs Your Life
This one was tough for me. I couldn’t just eat a damn muffin. I had to justify every calorie — “It’s gluten-free and sweetened with dates!” Or I’d punish myself, spiraling into shame and promise an extra workout or more rigid food restrictions the next day.
Orthorexia teaches you that food has moral value — what a toxic mindset. NEDA’s warning signs list guilt and rigidity as a key red flag for disordered eating.
🚩Warning Sign 4: Your Social Life Is Taking a Hit
I skipped dinners, brunches, and weddings because the food situation stressed me out. Or worse, I’d attend and bring my own snacks — suffering like a pathetic health martyr.
Food isn’t just fuel. It’s culture, it’s connection, it’s joy. But when you have orthorexia, it’s a barrier between you and everything else — friends, family, fun. You’ll swear that you’re being disciplined when really, you’re simply lonely and hangry.
So What Can You Do?
First, let me say this: it’s not your fault. We’re constantly being told that wellness is about control — green juices, “clean” eating, crazy routines. HuffPost notes how social media feeds this narrative and makes orthorexia even harder to spot, because it masquerades as healthy living.
Recovery hasn’t been a straight line. I still hesitate before ordering dessert. I still feel weird eating something without checking the label. But I’m learning to listen to my body, not Instagram. I’m learning that health isn’t a list of ingredients — it’s how you feel in your body and your life.
Sometimes that means eating the damn muffin. No apologies.
Getting Beyond That Anxiety Diet
If you recognize any of this in yourself, take a breath. You don’t need to fix your diet again — but maybe back off the rules. Talk to a dietitian or therapist who understands disordered eating. Start with organizations like NEDA, Project HEAL, or Therapy for Eating Disorders.
You deserve to feel good without obsessing. You deserve meals that nourish and delight you. And you deserve a version of wellness that doesn’t punish you for being human.
